If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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