all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
