It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
