My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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