But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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