haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
