I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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