you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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