hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
