she looked like the before picture.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
