I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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