then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
