Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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