I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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