make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
