It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
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Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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