pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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