It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
