Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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