the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
