You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!