a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
