Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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