Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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