things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
NoShamevember. You game?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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