You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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