she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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