Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
