my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
