FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
