Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
