pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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