went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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