On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
