I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you never un-have a 4some
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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