If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
