Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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