I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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