good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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