dude i'm inner monologue high
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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