Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
