Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
