what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
