Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
