I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
