She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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