Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
