How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize