Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
