just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
