So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
