my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
